Not all beautiful people were beautiful children. I think that the bad attitude many lifetime beauties have stems from being treated better as a child and considered superiour, given more opportunities, etc.
I became a beautiful woman and I get so much jealousy from women. While many were growing out of their beauty, I grew into mine. I have a good heart, however 90% of the time people assume that I am concieted. Quite the contrary. What I have learned is that people are shallow. As an ugly duckling, my social skills were lax due to maltreatment and isolation. Now, as a swan, I still suffer feelings of low self worth and most people won't take the time to get to know me because of all of the erroneous things that they assume about me. Being beautiful is not easier, especially if you are not the type to tear someone down in order to bring yourself up.
I think that beauty is a curse. But I agree with the answer above, it is a double edged sword and does have it's benefits. I am lucky enough to be considered extremely attractive by almost everyone I meet. Which is great on the one hand it is a lovely thing and people naturally want to be around you or be with you. But the bad side is that alot of people have the idea that you are stupid, self obsessed or conceited. Which is not true. I have struggled with the affects of my own beauty, I have lost friends over it who have proclaimed love to me, and then when I have said I just want to be their friend, they say they cannot because it hurts them too much. I can't go into a bar without people feeling like they have the right to touch me, because I am beautiful I am obviously also gagging for it?! It hurts when people have these bad views on you, because I didn't choose to be beautiful, just like an unattractive person didn't choose that. Of course the upsides are that people treat you well and want to buy you drinks, and show you off, but at the end of the day they all have the same agenda, they want to sleep with you. So next time you see a beautiful guy or girl in the mirrors of a bar toilet, don't give them THAT look, consider how hard it is to be beautiful and how I have never been with a guy who stayed around long after he had slept with me. I am still single, whereas many of my less attractive friends are in happy relationships.
It can be both. I have been told since I was a teen that I was "the prettiest woman" people have ever seen, "strikingly beautiful," etc. This becomes serious issue as years pass because there is the pressure to always be beautiful. Also I am intelligent woman who has been assumed to be dumb because of my looks and my body. This has caused me to seriously consider to have surgery to reduce my natural breast size so that men would take me seriously at work. Guys would stop driving in the street and ask me out on the road, which I found to be extremely creepy. Also i find it difficult to find love. Men have approached me to date me, then they are married and want me to be their little "secret" on the side. This is very painful to be treated like this. I am deeply in love with a man right now who is struggling with himself to understand if he loves me for me or for my physical appearance. I know he loves me for me, but I am feeling that the outward looks harm me and our relationship in that respect. Another thing: if we get married now, will he still love me in 30 years if he is marrying me for my physical appearance? On the plus side, I do get lots of favors. I am used to the way I look and want to maintain myself forever if possible, but I wish that people would realize that good people with good souls and compassionate hearts come in all sorts of containers.
ANSWER:
I feel like I need to express this somehow and there are so few people that want to hear anything about the difficulties involved in being beautiful. So I'll add here that it is hard and wonderful at the same time. Some have said that I am very beautiful and others not. Honestly, I can't handle the charge I get from being as beautiful as I can be so unless I feel really strong and stable I cover it up. All the attention is like a drug. It feels great and at the same time takes me off center. Sometimes it feels so good that like a drug I want to keep the good feeling going at any cost, and it has cost me. Sometimes I sort of wake up (not literally but in terms of awareness) and realize that I have landed myself in a situation that isn't safe or maybe will hurt some one I care about. I would say it is hard to handle like playing with fire. No one wants to hear about the difficulties associated with it so it is isolating. I have only been able to have really close relationships with other women who are pretty as well because otherwise it ends up getting in the way. I can't be very warm with my friend's boyfriends or husbands because eventually they end up getting crushes on me and even though nothing actually happens it causes jealousy and general weirdness that I just never want to cause in any person's relationships. So, as my best friend told me yesterday ( she is so beautiful too) keep the conversations with other people's men short and cool. Otherwise all the ladies in town will end up hating you.
I was a beautiful child as well. People used to say this to me all the time. As a kid I felt like this was the best thing I had going. When I was fourteen my step father came on to me while he was drunk at a dinner party in front of all the guests. As anyone might imagine, I got pretty freaked out. After that I went from 115 pounds to 145 in about 6 weeks ... Size 4 to size 14. It was a big change. All of a sudden I saw how superficial people were. Men were not nearly as nice to me. However, I found that girls liked me a whole lot more and when boys did give me their attention it was for what came out of my mouth not how I looked. I was this bigger person until about 18. It was an unconscious protection. Basically I just couldn't handle the attention and feel safe and secure with it. It was very hard to not be able to attract the boys I was interested in - no dates for school dances or really anything until 17 but it kept me safe - no more advances from creepy older men, no more teenage boys grabbing my boobs - there were perks to being protected by fat and acne. I'm not saying that size 14 is some horrid thing or that a lady could not be totally smokin at size 14. I'm just saying that I wasn't. I had acne in my teens. repeated attempts at hair make-overs left me with a horrid over processed mess.
Anyway, I'm rambling. I guess my point is that I've experienced both sides and there are pros and cons
to both. I want to be all I can be - sort of like making a garden bloom to its full potential. I feel like I am cheating myself if I cover it up now but at the same time its hard to handle. Keeping girlfriends is a challenge unless they are pretty secure. I can't be friends with men in my real openhearted way (I really like to be a kind and loving to people - a good friend - listener- helpful) can't do that for men because they get the wrong idea. Especially not if they are married. I have to tone it down all the time because otherwise I feel like I'm being an obnoxious show off. Women glare and men stare.
Some of the women in my little town have been gossiping about me - I guess that's why I'm writing here - I'm hurt - and no one wants to hear about it. Poor little pretty girl (million little violins playing right) I've been with my husband for 16 years now. To me family comes first - everyone family. I love my husband and have been faithful to him. I love being a Mom and my son is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I think messing with a family and kids is just so wrong. I guess what is bumming me out right now is that I feel like I have to hold myself back all the time to be connected because people become threatened. As the bright beings that we all are, in an ideal world, wouldn't we all be everything that we can be?
Don't be too nice or kind or warm or you are trying to steal my husband. Don't really get into dancing or you are an attention hog. Don't take care of yourself or you are too vain. Don't be too good at too many things or you'll make everyone look inadequate. Bend over backwards to be nice and clearly say you are not threatening over and over again. Point out your flaws often so that people will know you are not stuck up. Don't ever even admit that you know you are pretty because that is stuck up too..... AHHHH!
If I didn't feel like I was totally cheating myself..... honestly fatter felt easier in a lot of ways.
And another thing - I really could use some exercise but every time I get in better shape I get even more attention and I just can't take it. I realize that I could be even prettier but my unconscious only allows me to go a certain distance because any further is too frightening so I sabotage myself.
My Mom was beautiful too. She's 66 now and she says it is such a relief to be old and wrinkled.
Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_beauty_a_gift_or_a_curse#ixzz1WsD3mJBA
